I was 16 years old when I found I was pregnant. My father had died the year before and my family of six siblings and my mother was struggling with poverty. Some days we used to have dinner 10 pm after my mum brought home money she had earned cleaning people's houses. My older sisters promised to support me if I chose to have an abortion and so did my mum. The ultimate decision was mine. My boyfriend's father came to see my mum the following day with the money to pay for a backstreet abortion.
It almost seemed the logical thing to do. And then my mum out of nowhere refused the money and decided to do not allow me to have the abortion. And the truth is: I was relieved. I needed someone willing to believe that it was possible for me to keep my child. I needed an excuse to do it. I did not feel until my mother stood up for my pregnancy that I had the right to say "I want to have this baby. My life as a teen mother was hard.
But it was hard even before he came to my life. Maria, London. I'm now 38, I'm a paediatric sister on a high-dependency unit. I had two abortions at 17 and 18 years old, they were both with the same partner, and the relationship ended after the second abortion.
I now have a three-year-old daughter who I had wanted for several years - my husband and I had three attempts at IVF and we are very lucky.
I have never regretted having the abortions, even in later years when infertility played a big part in my life. I still feel guilty and somehow my punishment was my two failed IVF treatments. But I know that I made the right decision 21 years ago. I do think about how old they would be from time to time, and they are in my thoughts at times. Laura, Birmingham. I was booked to have a abortion in , after being put under pressure, and already having a very young child.
I cancelled my abortion the day before it was due, and honestly wouldn't change a thing now. My baby, who was due to be aborted, is happy and healthy. I suffered serious mental health problems back then and having this abortion would have made it much much worse.
My miracle baby is now one, and due to be a big brother himself very soon. Sophie, Birmingham. I have had two abortions. For me, both were sad experiences, but I will always defend my right to a safe termination and in no way do I feel guilty, though the grief remains with me. The second termination was for a very much wanted girl who was found to have Edwards Syndrome described as "incompatible with life".
After much, deep thought I took the decision that it was kinder to her to have her life brought to a close while still tiny rather than either be stillborn or die a few days after birth. It was heartbreaking for me, but I am certain it was the best outcome for her, the most humane, to protect her from future pain. Some people may find this shocking - but it's none of their business. My great-grandmother died of an illegal abortion in My grandpa was an orphan at 18 months old.
Safe abortion should be a woman's choice and right. I was forced to have an abortion by my then boyfriend. He was violent and controlling and I found out after having the abortion that he was married. Over time I have mixed emotions, sometimes I am relieved I had an abortion but I mostly feel guilt. I already had one child from another partner and the abortion experience left me with the feeling that I would not have any more children.
I did go on to have another child with my now husband and the feelings of guilt were dreadful. They searched online to find stories about women who had been in the same situation. When I asked if there was anyone they would have like to talk to but were hesitant to, several said 'my mother,'" says Kjelsvik, who works in NTNU's Department of Health Sciences.
Among the women who had talked with their mothers, several mothers opened up and admitted that they'd had an abortion themselves. The PhD candidate is a trained nurse and has extensive experience as a supervisor with the counselling service Amathea, an independent health service whose goal is for women to be able to live well with the decision that they've had time to think through.
Kjelsvik finds that the abortion debate lacks the voices of women who have faced the choice between terminating or completing their pregnancy. They find themselves in a situation that isn't conducive to having a child, and at the same time they find it difficult to go through with an abortion. Then they end up making the final decision at the hospital.
Religion often enters into the abortion debate. However, the women in this study did not bring up religion when they talked about their values. They considered the possibility of life with a child. Everyone has an opinion about abortion, but for the women who were in this situation, figuring out right and wrong became a complex question," says Kjelsvik. The 13 women in the study were recruited from six different hospitals around the country. The women felt well received at the hospital when they came for the abortion.
They felt respected. But at the same time, they wished that staff could have dealt better with their doubts. The doctor will help you to understand all of your options, including adoption, abortion and keeping the baby yourself. You will also get help working through all your thoughts and feelings so that you feel confident you are making the right decision, whatever you choose.
The contents on this site is for information only, and is not meant to substitute the advice of your own physician or other medical professional. Women from countries around the world responded causing the hashtag to trend on Twitter in Australia, UK, US, as well as in Ireland where abortions are still illegal. When I missed my period I went to the GP straight away.
As soon as the test came up positive I asked her to refer me to the hospital. I struggled a lot with sickness and fatigue leading up to the abortion. I had a medically induced abortion. I went to the hospital two days apart. The first visit was to have an ultrasound and take the first pill. Two days later I returned to stay for the day.
Maybe because this hospital had only opened their clinic the previous year, they were more cautious. Women had to stay on the ward until they had completed the abortion. It was like a heavy period, all at once. After I had passed my womb contents, I was given a cupful of antibiotics and told to wait in the lounge for my ride home.
I was told that it was not permitted to use public transport after the procedure, even though there was no anaesthetic involved. I think I was more ashamed of being pregnant than I was of deciding to have the abortion. I was surprised by how sad I felt in the immediate aftermath. I did see my foetus as I felt I owed it to myself to confront the result of my actions.
I know I did the right thing for both of us. I felt sure in my decision and still do, but I know now that I suffered emotional and psychological consequences that it took me some time to process and understand.
I believe this was due to a number of factors, including the unsupportive relationship I was in at the time and a stigma in talking openly about my decision generally. Although my partner and I had been using condoms, one split and the morning after pill was ineffective that time.
I learned later that this was probably because I was at the most fertile point in my cycle. I attended an NHS family planning centre for confirmation of the pregnancy and referral for an abortion. The nurse at the centre was matter of fact, but sympathetic. As my pregnancy was at a very early stage, I opted for a medical abortion rather than surgical as under NHS procedures.
A surgical abortion would have meant a further delay of a few weeks. In retrospect, I would have opted for a surgical abortion. The medical abortion entailed two visits to the hospital.
The first was for a scan to again confirm the pregnancy, followed by me taking a pill to begin the process. I then went home with an appointment to return two days later to take a second pill which would cause the womb lining to come away and the abortion to complete.
This was to be done under supervision of ward nurses and I had to remain on the ward until they were satisfied the process had worked. I found this part of the process quite upsetting for a number of reasons.
Physically, although the process was uncomfortable and painful, it was manageable pain. However, I believe that the ward I was on included some women who had miscarried or had other gynaecology issues which made me extremely uncomfortable. I remember essentially feeling that they knew I was aborting and would despise me.
This took place under general anaesthetic a few days later. I was lucky to have close friends who were supportive and non-judgemental, but I still felt my abortion was a secret that only a few close friends could be told about. Although I am extremely close to my family I did not tell any family members until years later, and then only one.
I still think about my abortion, although I still believe it was completely the right decision.
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